Are you dating a psychic vampire?

“What do you think your mother would say if she knew you were dating a vampire?” The Vampire Diaries

Before I go any further, this article isn’t about blaming or shaming those who we feel suck the very life juice out of us. It’s not about anyone feeling better than or worse than anyone else, as ultimately we are all equal souls with unlimited potential. I use the term Psychic Vampire as a useful analogy. In reality if we see people as a label the energy we fear tends to get worse not better. Often there is an important reason we attract such souls. It’s a chance to discover our true strength.

You may be dating a psychic vampire if…

1  You’re usually full of the joys of Spring and feel excited about life, yet every time you hang out with your lover you’re left insecure, drained and sluggish.

2  You start to feel not good enough and may suffer panic attacks or sleepless nights

3  You feel excessively fearful and feel you have lost your faith in your life path.

4  You feel oddly disconnected from your intuition and wonder if you’re being paranoid

5 You have put on weight in a short space of time since you have met them

6  You feel like a shadow of your former self.

On top of that you discover your mojo has packed up and left you leaving a note saying ‘Hasta la vista baby’. Your friends are giving you concerned looks and constantly texting you uplifting Gifs of Unicorns with the words ‘Run like the wind’.

“I allowed myself to forget how totally I had fallen in love with Lestat’s iridescent eyes, that I’d sold my soul for a many-coloured and luminescent thing”  Interview with a Vampire

When we met our PV we were probably on a high, we felt complimented, boosted up and as if we were seen for the first time. These mysterious lovers are great at hooking attention. We probably felt they were way more attractive to us than any of our other partners. Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire had nothing on them, at least initially. There was a mysterious, mesmerising magnetic force between us, as if we had known them for eternity.

The sexual chemistry probably felt it was mixed in Einsteins very own test tube and was utterly addictive. However, as the weeks roll by we start to feel tired all the time. The relationship is either full on or they play cat and mouse. They are constantly wanting to know where you are, even if you just nip to the shops or else they blow hot and cold and don’t ring or turn up when they say they will, making us confused. There is usually no middle ground with a psychic vampire.

Curiously, as we get more exhausted, they seem to be getting stronger and stronger. The deeper it goes the more we feel like we have totally lost our sense of self and start to feel that no one else will ever love us and that we are unworthy. They seem to slowly freeze us out with the occasional burst of warmth while they slowly creep into the dusty hidden crypt of themselves. We might put on weight, get sallow skin and look like an extra from the walking dead. The good times get further and further apart and last for shorter duration.

There are different types of vampiric energy snatchers. Some will manipulate us so that we feel weak in order that they can feel strong. Others are lost souls that have no clue that they are stealing our energy, as well as the psychic vampires who have a powerful charismatic personality. The draining of our life force is the common denominator.

“I used to think the worst feeling in the world is losing someone you love. But I was wrong the worst feeling in the world is the moment that you realize you’ve lost yourself.”  The Vampire Diaries

Into the light/look in the mirror

It’s essential to check to make sure that our pattern is not that of being a victim. If all our lovers, friends and relationships have ended up with us feeling victimised, it is time to step into our own power and to reach out to a counsellor or therapist who can help us break the pattern, otherwise, unwittingly we might have become a vampire!

Have you a fear of not being lovable or not being good enough?  Has your belief system in the past been distorted by a family dynamic? Was one of your parents a vampire? Being self aware and being honest with yourself is half the battle. When we confront our part in the dynamic and understand what led us to this connection we can step into the sunlight and a new dawn.

Beware your own shadow (has it got fangs?)

We all have a shadow, so if we want to break the spell it’s important we are hyper aware of our own. Remember it is not helpful to label ourselves or anyone else, as people will often live up to the role we are casting them in, and our job is to transcend the drama. To do this we need to look within and also know that each of us has access to universal love and wisdom if we choose to.

If this is the first time you have met what appears to be a psychic vampire, look at what is going on in your belief system right now. What are your core beliefs about love and relationships? If you want to give your lover a chance, establish if your partner is willing to look at the relationship dynamic, and if not, it may be time to plot your escape?

Once away from a psychic vampire, energy levels should return to normal. However it’s essential to understand that we are lovable and to examine our own patterns or we may attract another one in a different guise. Vampires don’t find us by accident, so let it be a key to your liberation.