Law of attraction – where’s my payoff?

I received an email from someone asking about the Law of Attraction after I wrote about the importance of giving and receiving.  She said that she did give a lot, but never seemed to get her rewards and asking why it could be that some people who seem to give nothing receive everything.

To begin with, I would say that it is almost impossible to know exactly what is going on in another person’s life.  We can look at someone and all we see is them giving nothing and it can look as though they keep getting and getting.  But we can’t say for sure that this is the case.  We aren’t in their life for every second of the day so we really don’t know with any certainty what they do when they are out of our sight.  It might also appear that they keep getting and getting, but we don’t really know if that is true.  Also, we don’t really know how they feel about their lives.  There are plenty of people who appear to have everything, but who are profoundly unhappy inside, or who don’t know what real joy or real peace feels like.

It is understandable to look at other people’s lives and come to conclusions like this, but we can’t ever know for sure.  One of the Four Agreements from ancient Toltec Wisdom, written about in a book by the same name by Don Miguel Ruiz, says that we should never make assumptions.  When we make assumptions, we are seldom one hundred per cent right and they can cause us a lot of pain.

Another way of looking at this question is to ask what kind of vibration asking it sets up.  Sometimes, the very act of looking at someone else and projecting onto them what we think their life is like can make us feel worse about ours.  It can make us feel envious, jealous, or that we’re witness to a huge injustice.  As soon as we start thinking like that, it can take us out of the flow of our own good feeling.  Within the Law of Attraction, that means that we are vibrating at a different frequency to the abundance that we want to cocreate within our lives.

It’s important too to focus on the detail of our thoughts and the assumptions that lie behind each little bit.  When we catch ourselves wondering where our ‘reward’ is, it’s worth stopping and asking – what kind of reward are we expecting?  Are we so sure that we aren’t already in receipt of a flow of abundance in our direction?  Are we placing some kind of limit around the notion of reward about what it should look like or how we would know if we were getting one that means that we can’t spot the wonderful things that are already flowing around us?

The universe can send us the magnificence of a night sky full of stars to look at and we can say, no.  I wanted a bunch of roses.  See?  Nothing good ever comes my way.

There are no limits to the way that we can think about any one thing, and we are here in part to explore the different experience that each kind of thought brings us.  Then, when we are done exploring, we can choose for ourselves.