Healing Loneliness with soul time.

How much do you really like and love yourself? We talk a lot about self-esteem, self-worth and loving ourselves but are you like so many of us guilty of not walking your talk when it comes to this all-important issue?

It’s really easy for us to send on contrary messages to the universe without even thinking that we are. The fact is, we’re all excused to some degree because the media works against us here. Let me give you an example of how easy it is to fall into this trap. Let’s say for example that your biggest personal goal right now is to attract that all-important and above all, serious new love interest in.

You’ve worked through a lot of stuff to get to this position – having taken the lessons from your past relationships and used these to not just identify what you really need in a significant other but you have been doing some deep inner work on your ability to receive love too. However, if we are on our own let’s face it we are constantly bombarded by images of ‘happy’ couples in the media and in our entertainment.

Not only through these do we become focussed on what we don’t have (i.e: one of these ‘perfect’ relationships), we then spend our down-time glued to social media, the internet, our smartphones or trying to fill every available minute with some kind of ‘connection’. Now, I’m not saying that this is wrong, but if you can’t stand your own company despite you affirming how much you love yourself, what message do you think this sends out there to the universe – or to a prospective mate for that matter?

Most spiritual practices emphasise the need for solitude. We don’t need to go on a retreat in order to experience the benefits of this on our mind, body and soul. What’s more, we’re often made to feel ashamed if we are spending time on our own – we must be failures, unable to form close personal ties or worse – inflicted with the 21st century’s silent epidemic – loneliness. No wonder if we look at it this way we start to do everything we can to not spend time in our own company!

But what if we took a different approach to all this? What if we started to see what I call ‘Soul Time’ as a way to lead a happier, more fulfilled life? And in doing so if say attracting more people into our lives is our goal – whether it’s one specific person or just friends, we put ourselves in a position to do just that?

So, when you find yourself with time on your hands, embrace this as a gift. Don’t want for someone to come along so you can enjoy yourself – you now have the time to do something you love right now! Read a book, go for a walk, start a craft or creative project, learn a skill or a sport. Connect back to the child within you who would happily play by themselves for hours by doing something you love and can lose yourself in so time just falls away.

If your life is just too frantic then why not schedule in your ‘Soul Time’? Read my article on Psychic fitness but doing a 20 minute psychic workout because 20 minutes is all you need. If a psychic workout doesn’t appeal, set your alarm and do something else you love for just 20 minutes. You will be amazed at how much you can get done in such a short period of time – and be more happy and energised as a result.

Unplug yourself. Stay away from your phone or your social media and set aside a time each day when you will unplug yourself. You can start with say an hour. Commit to doing something you’ve been wanting to do but telling yourself that you don’t have the time for it.

Notice how you feel during this time. Did you think about what was happening on your Twitter feed or did you not worry or just not think about it as much as you thought you would? As you notice yourself thinking about your phone or Facebook less and less as you immerse yourself in other things, increase the time you spend away from them.

Don’t wait for that person – do it! Do you not go to see movies, exhibitions, concerts or even travel because you are waiting for that person to turn up in order to have these experiences with? Don’t. Whether it’s having the courage to dine solo at that new restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or taking that trip to Thailand on your own, do it and do it as soon as you can. You are the person you’ve been waiting for and by really becoming that person, you will just attract more people like you.

So, embrace Soul Time and send out a consistent message to the universe – and have the time of your life while doing it!

  • Mark

    Just what I needed to read and oddly enough I feel like I knew it all along.. thank you for posting this spot on view point that will save so many of us from chasing our tails when all we need to do is just relax and enjoy every moment.

  • micheleknight

    Sending love x