Soul Purpose SOS: Why is Being Myself so Difficult?

If you’re a regular visitor to MK you’ll know that a key theme to many of our articles on wellbeing and discovering your soul purpose lies in authenticity. Expressing our own unique personality and gifts in our own individual way is the surest path to living an abundant and fulfilled life. But why then is doing this sometimes so difficult? Why is it that the moment we start to express who we truly feel we are, we are met with criticism and opposition from the very people we thought would support us?

When we’re young our survival depends on fitting in and conforming to the expectations of our family. We have a basic need to be loved and accepted. By the time we enter our teens we’ve been exposed to many different people and ideas and have begun to not only emerge as individuals but also to try on new ideas for ourselves and compare them against those we have been brought up with. Paradoxically though, at the time when we are probably at our most rebellious, we are doing our utmost to conform – this time often to the expectations of friends, teachers or a peer group as we strive to ‘fit in’. If we express different opinions we may find ourselves as social outcasts. So, we can say a lot of the time we’re actively discouraged from being ourselves.

As we become more confident and autonomous in our lives, we may find it easier to express our true nature and opinions or to connect with like-minded people. And as we become more in tune with our higher selves and soul development work, we begin to unfold previously hidden aspects of our personalities – like a flower starting to bloom. However, we can still be conforming to how family, partners or our employer expects us to act for obvious reasons.

The problem can occur when we reach a point on our soul journey where we realise not being true to ourselves is affecting not only our own wellbeing, but every other aspect of our lives. Perhaps you embarked on a particular career path because your parents expected it of you but after years of financial success but feeling unfulfilled, you now know you have to follow your true calling? Or while you may be fulfilled in a relationship you now yearn for a career. As you start to take steps towards this you are suddenly met with criticism or opposition. Should you give up and return to the ‘status quo’ when expressing who you really are is clearly so difficult?

First it’s important to understand that we’re all here to experience soul growth. Our soul group which includes family, partners, children and friends are part of that soul growth as we are part of theirs. Sometimes we journey with people for a lifetime, other times, we journey for a distance then part ways when the soul growth with those people is complete. In the case of friends who don’t accept this new, more empowered you, very often you making changes to your life to pursue your goals only highlights their own frustrations. Perhaps your social life has revolved around a group whose main activity involves drinking and partying. Suddenly you want a fitter, healthier lifestyle or to spend time taking classes to pursue a new career and you no longer feel the resonance you once had with your friends or their activities. Know that you may still be able to keep up the contact although not as frequently and also that your new vibration will attract a new soul group if the old one does fall away.

In the case of family or partners, any opposition or criticism to you being ‘you’ is usually based on fear of losing you. They fear they will see you less or that you may leave altogether if you become slimmer/more successful/more confident. It’s important to reassure soul partners (which close family and loved ones come under) that they are your springboard and inspiration for you doing what you are doing. Give them an example of how your frustration at living inauthentically has affected your relationship with them and how the changes you are making are already having a positive effect. Once they understand their importance in your soul progress they will usually become your very own cheer squad. Supporting one another in living an authentic life is what true soul purpose is all about.