If you are looking for a partner, chances are you have been dealing with issues around how you may be preventing love from entering your life. The most obvious ones are of course feeling unlovable, believing that we don’t ‘deserve’ to be loved or even limiting thoughts such as ‘there are no decent men/women out there’. However, there are other, less-well-known thoughts and beliefs around love that can prevent us from attracting the right person and we may be succumbing to these without even realising it.
1: We haven’t yet let go of the past. This can range from being hung up on an ex, heartbreak over a relationship that didn’t work out or hoping that an ex will come back even as we go through the motions of dating new people. If you are hung up over your ex or have been unable to get closure on some level then even if you are no longer in touch with them, or in situations where contacting them is not advisable, you can still let go and move on. First, understand that no matter how things ultimately worked out between you, there was a soul contact you agreed to and therefore there is no ‘right’, ‘wrong’ or ‘blame’. Nobody including yourself has done anything wrong. From this point of view, first write a letter to your ex saying exactly what you feel right now. You can be as angry, blaming or judgemental as you like – or as sad and betrayed. Don’t hold back on what you feel. After you have written it, imagine your ex seated in front of you and read the letter aloud. You can wait to hear what they have to say. You may want to wait 24 hours after doing this first step to move on to the next if a lot of feelings get stirred up by the process. Next write a letter to your ex from a soul contract perspective. Say that you now understand this was an experience you both agreed to share – and nothing more. There is no blame to be assigned. No matter how difficult this may be, thank them for the experience, wish them well and state you are now both free to move on. Again, imagine yourself reading this to them and wait to see if they have anything to say in return. Burn the letters afterwards. Over the next few days you will feel a sense of closure and also openness for someone new to enter your life.
If you are ‘going through the motions’ of dating while still yearning for your ex, again you may find this process helps. Remember, there is no statute of limitations on ‘getting over’ someone but you can’t expect a new relationship to work out until you have resolved the issue in your mind – and your heart.
2: You have rigid ideas about what love looks like. You shouldn’t need me to tell you that focussing on trying to manifest a relationship with a specific person or a person who is already in a relationship is a karmic no-no. While we need to have a list of qualities we are seeking in a mate we also need to focus on those and not one specific person we feel embodies these, or a check-list of physical attributes we are not prepared to deviate from. Ensure that while you know the kind of qualities your partner needs to have, you remain open as to the person – and the packaging for that matter!
3: Your lifestyle just isn’t relationship-compatible right now. ‘To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven’. Are you saying you want a relationship when in fact your lifestyle says something different? Perhaps you are focussed on your career, working or studying long hours. Perhaps your focus is travelling and meeting lots of new people and experiencing the world. Be honest here. The thing is, once you are and commit 100% to what it is that you are doing, no matter what hours you work or what you are doing, paradoxically you open up the way for someone to come through – almost as if your main focus now allows it. You work with your life instead of against it.
There can be many reasons why the love of that special person may not be around us right now. But check to see if it is one of the three reasons here and know that when it’s time love will arrive but by being aware of what you may be doing to prevent it, it might just arrive that much quicker!
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