Breaking Up Is Hard to Do. What’s the spiritual lesson of ‘I’m just not that into you?’

If you’re not one of the few and immensely lucky people who hook up with their childhood sweetheart then sooner or later you are going to find yourself on one side or another of the ‘I’m just not that into you’ scenario. Perhaps you’ve been seeing someone who is perfect on paper but you just don’t feel that spark. Is there a ‘spiritual’ way to let someone know that you don’t want to take things any further and most importantly, is there a lesson to be taken away that we can use in our search for the right person?

First we need to look at how we would like to be treated in the same situation. Most of us have been in the situation where we’ve had a few dates with someone and suddenly they don’t return our calls or become inexplicably busy with anything from work to the illness of their gerbil while telling us they will see us soon. Sound familiar? If you’re in this situation then before you pick up the phone to ask one of our readers if the object of your affections has been kidnapped, or is dead in a ditch, I can assure you neither scenario is the case. They are just avoiding the ‘I’m just not that into you’ conversation and hoping that you will take the hint and move on. So, given the choice would you rather have their honesty – no matter how it might hurt, or be left dangling wondering if they will be back in touch? When we operate with integrity and honesty we free not only ourselves but the other person to move on and meet someone else.

If you have had more than two dates with someone then manners as well as spiritual integrity really says they deserve at the very least a truthful phone conversation and not to be dumped via text or email – or to see you are telling them by changing your Facebook status! If you’ve been on the receiving end of discovering you are dumped via any of these methods chances are you wouldn’t want to inflict that on anyone else in any case!

But what’s the bigger picture here? At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you are the one telling the other party you don’t see any future in the connection or if you are on the other side of the conversation. The fact is when it comes to relationships and our feelings these conversations are never easy. Being dumped or even doing the dumping sucks. Chances are if you are doing the dumping you feel bad – which is why some people go out of their way to avoid doing it face-to-face despite the fact this causes more pain to both parties and hardly contributes to our soul growth! But the message or soul growth opportunity in every connection we make, even if it lasts only a couple of dates, is that it opens up both parties to a new level of insight into themselves and the kind of relationship they are looking for. It gives us the chance to refine our communication skills and send important messages about our values and integrity when it comes to how we treat people and how we expect to be treated in return. When we look at this situation from this perspective then we can see that the ‘I’m just not that into you’ conversation brings us one step closer to finding the person we are into – and most importantly who is into us in the same way.

I believe we have many lifetimes and that some of the souls we encounter even fleetingly for a few dates may be those we have met before. Just because it doesn’t work this time doesn’t mean we may not hook up in another incarnation. However, this lifetime is the only one we know about. The one we are experiencing right now. Life and time is precious. If something is not working then don’t waste any part of your life – or the other person’s, by dragging things out. Put yourself and them on the path towards the right person. And if you’re the one being dumped then no matter how it may have been done, you are now free to explore new possibilities with renewed insight and purpose. After all – you can’t meet the right person if you’re distracted with the wrong one!