Healing from rejection

Someone emailed me recently saying that they had been totally floored by someone rejecting them and I thought I’d say a few words about the subject here as this is something that affects all of us. At some point during our lives every single one of us will experience rejection.  We might get passed over for a job we really want or discover that our feelings for someone else aren’t matched, but it happens to us all  – yes really, even the people you look at and think nothing painful could ever happen to them!

It’s human to feel hurt when we are rejected but at the point where we are totally devastated it’s a sign that we need to reclaim our power.  Making one person the sole judge of our worth is never a good idea, particularly when in order to be devastated we usually have to close our eyes and ears to all the people who think we are fabulous and amazing and only focus on the one or time where someone seems immune to our magnificence.

Rejection is never something that should be taken personally.  Chances are, you’ve also had to reject some wonderful people and tempting situations in your life and you can know from the inside that sometimes it’s about timing.  Sometimes you can truly love someone and see all of the amazing qualities that they have, but for some reason that you might not even be able to put into words, you just can’t love them in the way that they want you to.

It might feel impossible to let someone go with whom you feel a deep psychic and soul connection. You might feel as if you have such a strong link that letting go would create a void. Possibly what you are feeling is a past life connection with someone whom you were perhaps lovers with in a past life or someone from your soul group who is here to help your soul evolve. That soul evolution might be about letting go and moving to a place of trust. In the bigger picture the rejection is really an act of love!

Many of the raw intense feelings of rejection come from an unconscious fear of being unlovable. Also, when we feel rejected, it is as if every single rejection we have ever experienced is poked! If someone mocks our outfit we might feel hurt. We are not reacting to someone saying they hate our dress in the moment, but for all the times people poked fun at us during our school days for example.

If we’d been loved all our lives and knew the Universe loved us, then one persons rejection would be water off a ducks back.  We would have total faith in our lovability and trust the Universe would not let us down.  That’s why it’s important to get any one rejection into the context of it just being one, rather than heaping it on a mountain of others.

I often think that we are all like swans on a river – no matter how effortlessly and elegantly we seem to be gliding along the surface, our legs are usually frantically paddling underneath.  A clumsily worded rejection can hit that vulnerable part of us beneath the surface that is working hard to keep the momentum of our lives going.  But as Eleanor Roosevelt so wisely said, ‘Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.’

At the point of rejection, what we do next depends upon the circumstances.  If we’ve been turned down for a job, we might need to look at developing our skills to make ourselves more equipped for whatever field we work in.  If someone decides we are not for them, we’ve actually had a near miss and been saved from getting any deeper involved with someone who isn’t for us. Right around the corner when you least expect it is the soul who makes your heart sing.

What is for us can never pass us by.  Trust that something better is around the corner.  I can’t tell you how many times this has proven to be the case for me and everyone I know!  When I was younger I was totally devastated when someone I was in a relationship with went off with someone else, but I surrendered to the experience and this led me into a massive life change which ultimately led me to where I am now and meeting my soul partner. In my wedding vows I said ‘I would do the journey all again to be where I am now’ and I meant every word. No matter what pain or fear you may be in now or how you feel about rejection their is usually a bigger picture if you have the courage to let go and trust true happiness will find you.

At the point where you find yourself dealing with rejection, it’s time for you to show that you love you unconditionally.  Pamper and nurture yourself.  Be your own best friend and beloved and know that something much better is on its way!

Loads of love,
Michele x

PS I find this such an important topic if you feel it has helped you please share it. x