Love SOS: What To Do When It’s Over
It’s a scenario that sadly most of us will have to face at some point in our lives. The person you thought would always be part of your life is no longer a part of it. Someone you love telling you that they no longer feel the same way is always heartbreaking and usually comes as a shock, but even if you’re the one to initiate the break-up, you can still experience deep feelings of hurt, guilt and sadness when a relationship comes to an end. This is also often coupled with fear if you are coming out of a long-term relationship. How are you going to cope without this person next to you? Will you ever find someone else to love and trust again?
The first thing to understand is that there is no statute of limitations on how long it is going to take you to process your feelings. We’re all different and each of us processes things in a different way and in our own time. Whether you’re the one who’s been left or have done the leaving yourself, you need to be gentle on yourself and above all, don’t ‘push’ against what your own inner voice is telling you to do right now. If you feel you need some time alone nurturing yourself or just thinking, don’t feel you have to rush out and become the life and soul of the party no matter what well-meaning friends may think. However, don’t be afraid to reach out for support if you need it whether it’s to a family member, close friend or even a therapist. Remember, the end of a relationship is a death on an emotional level. Take time to mourn and seek grief counselling if you need it. We need to remember that when we enter into a soul agreement with someone, even if it doesn’t last, our energy becomes entangled with theirs. Although we are now no longer together, we are still attached to them on a spiritual and energetic level and it takes a while for these bonds to completely sever.
Often our self-esteem takes a battering when someone leaves us and we may also have feelings of rejection to deal with. When it comes to dating again and finding someone new, it pays to take your time. When a relationship ends we are in a crisis and often we are not in the best position to make good decisions when we are in crisis. Looking for someone new too quickly to shore up our self-esteem is never a good idea. Remember – self-esteem springs from loving yourself and knowing you are loveable.
When our path with another diverges it’s important to look at the soul lesson the relationship has brought us – and there always is one even if it may take a while for us to understand what it was. All relationships are sent to fuel our soul growth and when their purpose is fulfilled we go on to find a deeper level of growth with another. As you move through your grieving process ask yourself what your relationship was really all about. The answers you receive from your higher self may surprise you and lead to a better understanding of who or what you need from your next relationship. Remember – we have many soul mates, not only one. A soul mate is someone with whom we have entered into an agreement with to do our most important spiritual work – and relationships are our biggest growth opportunity. But just because someone is a soul mate does not mean that the lessons they teach us are easy or that they will remain in our lives forever.
Remember, some relationships last a finite amount of time while others last a lifetime. Each one can be with one of our soul mates and each one has something to teach us. Every time we fall in love the person we fall in love with is merely reflecting back at us the love we already carried inside us all along! When you understand this you will therefore know that love is always with you even if the person you loved is now gone. You are a being of love.
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