We’ve all been on one and often on both sides of the unrequited love paradigm at some point in our lives. Sometimes we’re lucky – when we confess the attraction it turns out our friend is feeling the same way. But more often than not telling a friend you now feel more than just friendship for them opens the door to feelings of rejection, humiliation and ultimately anger which can put an end to the friendship. If you’ve just declared undying love to a friend only to be told they just don’t feel that way about you, how can you salvage the friendship?
First, we need to understand what’s going on on a soul level. All relationships are soul growth opportunities. People who become close friends have deep soul links to us and are often sent into our lives to act as catalysts helping us resolve issues around love and intimacy safely. They can also become as close to us as a romantic partner which can lead to the lines becoming blurred. Take a step back and look at whether you have a history of falling for people who are unavailable. If so, chances are your friend is in your life to help you deal with this once and for all.
To put things back on track, both of you must affirm that the friendship is important to you and that you want to remain friends. Let your friend know that you are okay with the confession/rejection and that you accept they don’t feel the same way. Return to your usual routine as soon as possible – this lets the other party know you have accepted their answer and won’t be avoiding them.
Work on your heart Chakra and surround yourself with unconditional love. Look at your belief system when it comes to love. What is this situation bringing up for you and how can you transform it? Do you feel unlovable? Do you believe that love is limited or lost trust in your soul path? Working on your inner voice to dispel this belief can help you heal.
If however you cannot accept your friend’s decision, then you may have to think about a time out at least until you have moved on emotionally but make sure you explain your reasons to them clearly if you want to revive the friendship at a later date.
Sometimes however, a friend may have given you good reason to think they felt the same way – they may have flirted excessively or crossed the line a couple of times. If so, you may want to think about whether or not these are the actions of a true friend? Friends respect each others boundaries. Also, if you are the one rejected but your friend suggests that romantic feelings may develop between you at some future point or that a relationship isn’t possible right now because they are with someone else, you may have some serious thinking to do about whether your ‘friend’ is operating from a position of honesty and integrity. If they tell others about your feelings for them this is another warning sign that the friendship should be reviewed.
Deep soul friendships are just one way we get to express the love we all carry inside us and it’s all too easy to confuse this with romantic love. Discovering that someone doesn’t share our feelings is always hurtful. But it doesn’t have to spell the end of a beautiful friendship. You may still be able to say ‘We’re just good friends’ – and mean it!
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