7 Signs They’re NOT Your Soulmate!

Our psychic Helen talks about warning signs when spotting our soulmate.

We often spend so much time fantasising and visualising how wonderful that new relationships is going to be that when reality turns out not to live up to our fantasy, we tend to ignore the warning signs and keep right on going! But sometimes we need to see what’s happening as a test sent to us by the universe. To come from a place where we opt for something better for our future – just by saying ‘No’ to the present. So, what are the seven major signs that this person isn’t a soulmate and you may need to bail – and fast?

1: The No-Show. ∫ Often this is a person you have met on-line although sometimes it can be someone you’ve met at an event who lives in another area or city. You’ve spent weeks or months chatting. But when it comes time to actually meet up – whether for the first time in person, or you travel to meet them to re-connect, they fail to show either cancelling at the last minute (usually with a dramatic excuse) or else just not turn up at all. No matter what excuse they hand out, this is your cue to think very, very carefully, indeed especially if you have travelled any kind of distance to see them.

2: Mr. or Ms. Green. Sure a little jealousy can seem flattering – at first. But when it gets to the point where they get short with a shop assistant or waiter who may be a little flirtatious, start to ask you to account for every minute you spend away from them or say they are not comfortable with you spending time with friends of the opposite (or same) sex – time to go.

3: The Put-Downer. Criticises you in front of others, tells you that you don’t know what you are talking about and ridicules your opinions. Justifies this by saying it’s for you own good, and just want you to be the best you can be because they care.  Changes the subject back to them if you have a success to share or talks about your ‘little job’ or ‘little project’ to belittle your achievements. Have the courage to walk away.

4: If You Loved Me You’d Put Me First: They make you feel there is a competition going on in your life and they are vying for your love. Their competition can be anything or anyone from your job, to your dog, to your kids or your friends. Usually this person shows a marked reluctance to meet family/friends/children and only does so under sufferance and then they won’t seem to be engaged or enjoying themselves. They will whinge when you have plans with others and this may seem wonderful at first as you see this as evidence of how much they want to spend time with you. It will get tired very quickly – and so will you juggling your relationships.

5: The Time Waster. The thing about the Time Waster is they can make things appear romantic or bring out your protective instincts. For a woman it can come as a relief to go on dates with a man who seems to want to get to know her better before making a move to the bedroom. Or there’s the sob story about how they need time to get over the way they were cheated on by their ex. Now, I’m not saying this might not have happened or that if we are looking for a relationship that can work over the long term we take our time to really get to know the person before becoming physically intimate with them. But there should be a statute of limitations on this – i.e. the 90 Day Rule at most. We can be lured into waiting by lines such as ‘I want to wait until we can’t stand it any more/I want it to be special/I want to wait until I can focus fully on you’. However, if you’re still waiting to get naked after those 90 days you may need to re-think things. The problem with the Time Waster is they can keep you dangling because they seem to be backing this up with all the right romantic gestures. Just not the one you want.

6: Mr. or Ms. Empowerment. You can’t believe your luck! At last you’ve found the person who totally and absolutely supports you and your goals and believes in you and your talents! If this is a guy he’ll tell you he has no problem with strong women – in fact, he’s turned on by them. If this is a woman she’s supportive, awestruck and flattering. Now, I’m not for one moment suggesting that they may not be all they claim to be. However, warning signs you may need to re-think this one include a lack of clearly defined career goals or path, constant complaints about how nobody appreciates their talents and abilities and a pipe-dream which you can end up bank-rolling when they quit their job.

7: They Get Your Resume Wrong. You’ve had two or three dates. You thought you were clicking and they were interested. You go to meet their friends for the first time and they reveal they don’t even know what you do for a living by getting it completely wrong when you overhear one of their friends asking them exactly what it is that you to. One appalling example of this was a man who answered this question by saying his date did ‘some kind of work with animals’. She was a vet. If your date cannot remember the most basic and important details about your life, then this is a sign they may not be really interested in you.

Bear in mind that we always have the choice of flagging up an issue with someone in a not-critical way. Often we are not aware of our behaviours and unless someone alerts us to this, we are not given an opportunity to change. However, some – such as no-shows are a real no-no. If however the person you are seeing shows no sign of changing or to deal with the issue, then you may need to sever the connection. Remember – we have many soulmates and you’re not limited to just one.