In my life I’ve been involved in quite a few intense relationships and I would say I’ve had a few past-life relationships which were very intense and made me face up to a lot of deep-rooted issues. A lot of the time, people confuse soulmates, past-life connections and addiction.
If that sounds a bit dramatic, read on.
There are people that we have relationships with where tell ourselves that we’re in love and that we’ve met our soul mate because we’re thinking about that person all the time or tuning into their feelings when actually what we’re dealing with is a kind of addiction. You know that you’re dealing with addiction rather than real love when you feel that you simply couldn’t live without that other person and when the thought of being without them is too terrifying to even think about. That kind of love that actually knocks you off of your path, but it can also be the kind of love that teaches you something.
In contrast, past life relationships can be just as intense, but there is a particular kind of familiar feeling about them. I’ve bumped into two people in this life that I know I’ve had previous past-life relationships with. When you meet someone that you had a past-life relationship with, you it often feels as if that person is your soulmate because you know them with a profound feeling of recognition, you understand each other, you have more of a bond when you’re separate from each other and you can kind of feel where they are.
Past life relationships can be confusing at best and hell at their worst. They are confusing because they can they often involve ecstasy and agony. There can be so much intensity between you. You might even share all sorts of spiritual experiences such as telepathy or seeing colours when you make love. But such relationships are usually plagued with problems. It’s like you’re repeating the same relationship you might have had in ten lives with that person. It’s obviously very potent and intense magic. Even if you don’t see them for ten years you can feel this complete and utter bond, because in a way it’s a timeless bond.
Sometime, those relationships are not meant for this life, however, and it may be that your learning in this life is to let go of that so that you can find the right energy for you. It’s hard, because people find it very difficult to let go of that intoxicating experience, even though, in most cases, those kind of relationships will never work – it’s always ecstasy and agony and drama.
When you’re in that experience it’s very difficult for you to think that it’s not for you, because you’re determined to fit that square peg in that round hole, and make it work but it all comes back to your relationship with you. If you are your best friend and you love you, you’re not going to let yourself go through that trauma all of the time. And ultimately it’s about actually believing that you are worthy of a relationship that is worthy of you – a relationship that nurtures you, a relationship that is equal. A relationship that doesn’t destroy your heart, and take away with your self-esteem.
In contrast, and despite anything else that you might have heard anywhere else, soul mate relationships just tend to work. When you meet soulmate, you get on, you may have a few struggles, but fundamentally you click. It’s a functioning relationship, and you have each others’ best interests at heart.
Not all soul mates are destined to be lovers, either. If you have a friendship or you have a connection that’s absolutely stunningly beautiful, and pure and delightful, and you merge together, it could also be a soul mate connection.
So if you’re confused about whether the person you’re involved with or have your heart set on is a soul mate, a past life connection with some karma to work through or an outright addiction, just ask yourself: Does this relationship bring me peace? Does it work? Are we better people for being in it? Does it allow me to be my best me? If the answer is yes, it could be a soul mate relationship. If your answers are no, then it’s likely to be a past life connection and only you can make the decision to set yourself free.
Even more importantly, don’t let yourself get confused by labels. I would say that a lot of problems in our lives are down to labelling ourselves and labelling every experience – but more about that next time!