Love is one of the greatest and sometimes hardest soul lessons of all. We are bombarded with images, music and hype around being in a romantic relationship. It is a very powerful meme (thought virus). For those of you familiar with Quantum Creating ® you already know that having a Meme Detox – letting go of those insidious and usually negative beliefs we’ve picked up from others, is a key part to reaching our goals! Our thoughts and beliefs shape our future. What you have thought about and believed in the past helped create your life in the present and what you think about today is impacting in the same way on your future too – whether you are aware of it or not. And nowhere do we see the thoughts (or memes) affect us more than in our love lives as it is our beliefs in this area that determine not just who we attract in but how the relationship may turn out. Not only are we influenced by our own thoughts but other people as well as the media can bombard us with their beliefs which can filter in and impact our energy and experience. So, whether we are searching for a partner or just want to improve our current relationship, taking a close look at the beliefs we may be harbouring around love – and having a Meme Detox if necessary, is a major step towards having the kind of relationships we desire – and deserve.
1: All the decent men/women are taken. If you go around thinking that there is no-one out there, all you will be confronted with is validation of this belief. If you do date or meet someone, then chances are they will behave in a way which reinforces this belief or else you’ll not meet anyone at all. Either way – this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ask yourself who told you this? The media? Your single friends? Smug marrieds? The fact that you, a person who is a catch is single, tells you there are quality singles out there – you are not the only one! Sadly, soul contracts between couples change which translates into good people coming out of relationships all the time – and seeking a new partner eventually, or else they too are still searching and have the confidence to wait for the right person to come along.
2: I need to be younger/thinner/more successful/attractive etc to find love. So, what you are saying here is that you are unlovable just the way you are. If you cannot love and accept yourself as a unique soul, then how do you expect anyone else to? I’m not saying we should not take care of ourselves – but first we do this for ourselves – not because we think this will put us at the head of some mythical queue at the end of which we get handed a mate! Also, if you are harbouring these types of memes, then this comes from comparing yourself to others. Comparing ourselves to others in a negative way not only smacks of a lack of self-love but shows we are insecure. When we’re insecure we are more likely to jump into any relationship that comes along – regardless of whether or not the person is good for us or not. Look around you or read success stories on the internet – people of all ages, of all body types, across all professions and circumstances, find love. Love will find you when you are happy to be yourself and are not trying to compare yourself to someone else – or something the media or anyone else tells you to have to be in order to get it. That’s not love – that’s desperation and self-loathing.
3: The path to true love never runs smoothly. This is perhaps the most insidious love meme of them all. It causes smart women and men to hang on in relationships that are clearly going nowhere, and to put up with all kinds of emotional drama and occasionally abuse. Chances are if you’ve been in a relationship that has been characterised by drama, manipulation, being badly treated or the other person being unavailable on some level – either emotionally or because they are involved with someone else, you have bought into this one. It’s a nasty toxic fairy-tale of delusion where you tell yourself that you can 1) either change the person or 2) that one day they are going to see how you’ve stuck with them and realise what a princess or prince you are and that they can’t live without you. While we can say that all relationships require work and communication for love to flourish, relationships are not meant to be hard work. Neither are they meant to be one-sided or filled with arguments, broken promises (they cancelled the date at the last minute yet again) or you having to make all the running. If you have to run after something – it’s not yours. Someone who wants to be with you doesn’t run away or distance themselves. It’s really that simple. Love is not meant to be a rocky road. Once you understand this, you may find instead love is smooth sailing.
If you have been harbouring any of these three deadly love memes – time to replace them with something more positive. There are plenty of wonderful partners out there ready to appreciate you for who you are – and that way, love will be worth the very little effort you have to put in to attract it.
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