3 Steps To Heal Criticism
You’re certainly not alone if you’ve been hurt by someone else’s criticism especially if you are starting a new path. I get emails every day from people as diverse as novice psychics to budding authors asking how they can progress after feeling knocked back by criticism. Almost every single soul on Earth will have had their confidence shaken by an unkind and usually unasked-for comment at various times in their lives. Criticism also usually arrives when we are at a vulnerable point. We may be working on our self-esteem or we may be taking those first baby steps towards a major goal. Just as we’re building our self-confidence and starting to feel good about ourselves and our journey – BAM! We’re confronted with criticism which shakes both our image of ourselves and often our resolve. Very often the criticism comes from someone whose opinion or approval we valued – making the comments that much more hurtful. So, if you’re on the receiving end of someone else’s criticism what can you do and what’s the soul lesson?
1/ First of all, understand one thing. No matter what you set out to do in life, criticism is inevitable. Just take a look at film reviews if you don’t believe me. Every successful person in the world has faced their share of critics. What you need to do is look at the criticism and look at the source. Is the criticism constructive or destructive? For example, you give the draft of your novel to a friend who tells you the story is excellent but the characters aren’t believable. If your novel is a labour of love then this initially could be hurtful but they’ve not actually said ‘Don’t quit your day job – ever’. Step back and think whether they may have a point. Then ask for another opinion. If you receive similar comments then this criticism is actually feedback that can help you. In every area of life including becoming a fabulous psychic, we are always learning and growing and feedback can help.
2/ If the criticism is actually feedback there is another upside to this. The person is actually listening to you and interested in what you are doing. The alternative is disinterest! Embarking on a long term goal means you may attract short-term criticism but this doesn’t mean you should give up. Back to considering the source. Is the person making the criticism prone to being negative? Have they failed to fulfil their own dreams? There’s a saying – misery loves company. Often when we start to make changes in our lives certain people feel threatened by our success – before we’ve even become successful! They fear we will leave them behind and they don’t want to have to confront the reasons for their own lack of success. So they criticise in an attempt to get you to abandon your dreams and keep them company in their misery. This is why critics are often not telling your story but theirs.
3/ Finally, ask yourself this: does their opinion really matter? Remember, we can’t control what other people say to us but we can control how we respond. If you are dealing with a family member or anyone who is a persistent critic you can’t avoid, a good response is always: ‘You’re probably right’. Think about it. You’ve not said they are right. You’ve not agreed with them. But it allows you to keep your cool and the only word they will hear is ‘right’ which leaves them with nowhere now to go. Don’t give criticism more power than it’s due.
The more confident we grow as we move towards our goals the less impact other’s opinions will have on us. On a soul level it’s all about power. Keeping true to your vision of your life and how you want to live it. The power that comes from being who we are gives us the confidence to keep criticism in perspective.
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