The most powerful thing you can do if you’re working with the Law of Attraction or Cosmic Ordering it to put yourself in alignment with whatever it is you want to attract. In a nutshell, we maximise our ability to attract what we want when we are totally in alignment in terms of our energy, our thoughts, our beliefs, our feelings and our behaviour. Often we get so focused on everything else that we overlook the behaviour bit but what we actually do sends an equally powerful message to the cosmos!
Let’s say we want to attract a loving, committed relationship. We can look back at all our experiences of relationships to help us get clear on the kind of relationship that we want, get down to some real soul searching to dissolve any negative beliefs that we have about love, our worth or our ability to attract it, make a beautiful and inspiring vision board, do our visualisation meditations, and work on our affirmations and on top of all of that give ourselves loads of love and nurturing so that we are taking care of ourselves on every level.
And then we meet someone who seems interested in us. Our instincts shout that this isn’t the right person, but they ask us out on a date and we go along anyway. We have become very clear that we want someone who is kind and thoughtful, but we see them being rude to the waiter and they don’t really seem that interested in anything that we have to say. Or maybe they are wonderful and charming and make it absolutely clear that they are not looking for a committed relationship but are up for some fun.
It’s then that our nagging voice of doubt can get activated, the one that tries its best to drown out that deeper knowing and says to us, ‘Don’t be so fussy! No one’s perfect’, ‘You’d better snap this one up because we don’t want to be on our own and it’s not like anyone else is on the horizon’ or, ‘He/she isn’t really what we want, but if he/she changed, he/she is exactly what we’ve been looking for!’
When it comes to romance, this isn’t about becoming a perfectionist and demanding that other people live up to impossible standards. It’s definitely not about blowing out an amazing person because they don’t hold their fork in the right way or don’t have the kind of job we wrote down on our list that our ideal partner should have. Nor is it about making someone else wrong because they don’t want what we want if they are just looking for fun and we want a deep commitment. It’s about us letting old fears and doubts take over and seriously undermining how far we’ve come at the point where we start working against ourselves at the level of what we do.
This matters for two very important reasons. Our beliefs do trickle down and shape our behaviour, but our behaviour also feeds back up into our beliefs. When we act against ourselves, we have to find a way of making that okay in our minds, resolving any contradictions by the story that we weave around it. When we hold two or more conflicting ideas or beliefs, psychologists call it cognitive dissonance and it’s recognised that we’ll do anything to smooth the gaps between the two. We can convince ourselves that our desires have been answered when in fact we are leaping towards something which isn’t actually in line with what we truly want.
Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true’ and it’s really worth checking in with yourself at regular intervals to see if you are being true to who you are and the you that is evolving and where and if you are acting against yourself.
Every person and situation is different, and life is a learning process where we get to discover through experience what being true to ourselves means. You might have a casual relationship with someone who is right for now even if it feels at the start that they aren’t right for the long term. This tends to work best as long as you are truly honest throughout the experience and don’t deep down want or need it or them to be something else. Being practical and working in a job that you know won’t take you where you want to go so that you can pay your bills in the short term is fine, but it’s really important to do something that supports your long terms goals in the time you have free, like learning a new skill at an evening class or applying for the jobs that are closer to what you really want.
The way to think of it is this. The universe mirrors us, so we need to mirror the universe in terms of doing our bit to make sure we are in alignment at every level.
Loads of love,
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