Want to know the real reason why your goals aren’t manifesting or your Quantum Creating practice just seems stalled? Then go find a mirror and take a good, long look. And how many of you who do this have a reaction like: ‘Yuk! Bad hair day,’, ‘Those wrinkles! I need Botox . . .’ ‘Oh, God. Now I know why I avoid mirrors. Look at the size of my bum,’ or variations on this theme. And if this has been your reaction, or if you are constantly caught up in self-criticism, now you have your answer about why you’re not living the life of your dreams right now. Constant self-criticism and self-talk has nothing to do with wanting to be our best or take care of our bodies. It’s the constant inner nagging that says we’re not good enough the way we are right now. And if we’re not good enough that means we’re not deserving enough of all those things we want – a partner who loves and supports us, abundance in life, a lovely home, a dream job – those are reserved for people who are perfect and who have got their lives together and who have smaller thighs as well. Certainly not us!
There used to be an old joke about a woman who when asked when she would leave the husband who took her for granted would answer ‘When I lose 10 pounds’ and this joke sums up this blockage to happiness perfectly. In other words, we’ll get what we want later – when we’re perfect. The trouble with this attitude is it keeps us stuck. Because even if we lose that 10 pounds to whatever barrier it is we’ve erected to prevent us from being happy today, we’ll just go an erect another one. And here’s another secret – those ‘perfect’ people who are already living the kind of life you want aren’t perfect either. However, the reason they are living that life is that they practice self-love and replace self-talk with self-acceptance.
We all have faults – that’s because we’re human! On top of that, many of us have had less-than-perfect upbringings. Perhaps out of fear our caregivers criticised us or made us feel less than worthy of love, happiness and abundance. As we get older these opinions and experiences get turned into self-criticism and negative self-talk which runs as a constant loop in the background setting up an unconscious barrier between us and our goals simply because we think ourselves unworthy of having what we want in our present ‘imperfect’ state. We then channel energy into ‘fixing’ these imperfections – energy that could be better used in propelling us forward towards what we really want.
So, what can we do about it? First – go back to that mirror. You don’t have to like what you see but you can accept it. Your face, your body, your ‘faults’ are what got you this far. They make you – well, you. Love them! And now you’re looking closer, what about all the good things about you. And I’m not just talking about good features. What about your inner qualities? Yes, maybe you spend too much on clothes or occasionally drink too much, but what about your capacity to love? To be a supportive friend? Your sense of humour? Your generosity? Start a personal audit and list all your good features and qualities and stop focusing on your faults and imperfections – real or otherwise.
Self-love and self-acceptance has nothing to do with vanity or narcissism. It’s about loving yourself for your complexity as a human being. All the things you don’t like about yourself contain the key to your power. Unlock it and in doing so, you’ll remove those blockages and your true goal – happiness, will come flooding in.
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