When we’re deciding on what it is we want to Quantum Create I’ve always emphasised the importance of getting very clear and being specific about what it is you want to attract. The more detail we put into this the better – with of course the caveat to then let it go and be open as to how it comes to us or even bring us something better than we haven’t even thought of! Now new studies into why relationships fail where others succeed proves that people who are very clear about not only the qualities they are seeking in a partner – but how important these qualities are, are more likely to have successful long-term relationships than those who don’t.
Although there are many factors that can contribute to a relationship failing, one important factor has emerged that appears to determine whether it does succeed and that is the degree to which your partner matches your vision of your ‘ideal’. Notice I said ‘ideal’ and not ‘perfect’ as we can say there is no such thing as a perfect partner – only that you may be perfect for each other.
Dr Paul Eastwick and Dr Lisa Neff of the University of Texas studied 169 newlywed couples and asked them to complete a questionnaire about their preferences for an ideal partner and how they felt their actual partner compared to this. They were then contacted every six months for the next 3.5 years. Let’s say a sense of humour is a vital quality for your ideal partner. In importance you would give this an 8 out of 10. When it comes to say, honesty you would give this 9 out of 10. So, honesty and then sense of humour in that order is what’s important to you. What Dr. Eastwick and his team discovered what that it wasn’t whether you rate your partner’s honesty at say a 7 and his sense of humour at a 6, it is the fact that you score your partners qualities in the same order as you value them. The study found that couples who felt this way were three times LESS likely to get divorced than the ones who didn’t.
Although every relationship gives us important soul lessons and someone who we feel is a soulmate can often give us the hardest lessons of all! Our job is to evolve our own spirit and value our unique soul and nurture ourselves as well as others. The liberating fact is we can grow from happiness not just difficult relationships and we do have the power of choice no matter what ‘destiny” throws at us!
To understand the qualities we need in a partner we need to have arrived at a stage where we understand ourselves and our requirements in a relationship. Soul knowledge empowers not only us, but also our relationships. When we understand our needs we can avoid getting caught up in relationships with people who are not at the same stage in their soul growth and are therefore unable to give this to us.
So, if part of your Quantum Creating journey is to manifest your ‘ideal’ partner, start by making a list of their inner qualities and getting clear about which are the most important for you. By setting your intention that this is the kind of person you want to attract you are sending out a signal to bring someone with the right set of qualities – in the right order – to you. When we consider that nobody would criticise us for getting very specific about the kind of job we would like – and making a list ranking things like ‘job satisfaction’, ‘opportunities for advancement’ and ‘excellent pay’ in order of importance, why shouldn’t we apply the same rules to something that will affect every area of our lives. And for those critics who might say this is unromantic – there’s nothing more unromantic than break-ups or divorce. Personally I can’t think of anything more romantic than Quantum Creating your ideal partner. Get clear on what you want, be clear on your purpose and clear the way to creating your ideal life on every level.
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