Who’s living rent free in your head?

Decluttering is a huge passion of mine.  Shamans tell us that our outer world is a mirror of our inner state and I am a firm believer in the importance of paying mindful attention to where we live and work to keep the energy around us fresh and optimal to support our emotions and thinking.

When it comes to decluttering our minds, I talk a lot about the kind of beliefs and ideas or memes that can lurk around, muddying up our thoughts.  Often alongside those we have a few unsavoury characters living rent free in our heads that we need to give their marching orders.

1/The ones who put us down.  We’ve all ran into them during our lives – the teacher who belittled us in front of the class, the frenemies that dressed us in acid jibes, even random strangers who felt the need to deliver the downers.  A friend of mine, having just picked up her first car and driving down a town high street got caught in a one way system.  Terrified, she turned into an office car park so she could turn the car round and escape.  A security guard strolled over.  Wiping her tears away she rolled down her window to explain but before she could say a word he sneered, ‘Your sort always do that.’  They may have had influence over us for an extended period or might have just swung into our lives long enough to stick in a quick jab and disappear, but we can carry them round years later. They need to go!

2/The ex who isn’t coming back.  They’ve moved on, married and moved away, but we’re still walking around wondering what they are up to, whether they are missing us and in particular whether they’ve come to their senses and are frantically trying to track us down on facebook or Friends Reunited, even though we might have last seen them ten years ago.  This is truly a low-grade tenant who can actually stop new loves coming in. Get them out!

3/The doubters who told us we couldn’t.  Whether it’s learning Japanese or just trying to figure out how to record something on the TV, whenever we try and get to grips with a new skill, we hear the whisper of those who told us we were too dumb to learn.  Kick them to the kerb!

4/The for-your-own-gooders.  You want to travel round the world, go on holiday to New Zealand, start your own business or apply for your dream job.  But as you’re making plans they loom out of the gloom at the back of our minds and shake their heads.  It will all go wrong, they tell us. Better to play it safe and small.  Show them the door!

5/We know you best.  When you reach out for a new experience, whether it’s snowboarding or just trying an exotic dish in a new restaurant, they block your way.  You won’t like that, they sigh.  We know what you like.  And whilst you’re at it, shouldn’t you be wearing a cardigan? Call time on them!

It can come as quite a shock when you do an inventory and realise just how many people are getting a free passage around the world thanks to you.  Irony is, oftentimes we can still be carting huge and heavy effigies of them in our minds when they can’t remember us at all or can’t even remember what they said or did.

The key to being free, authentic and creative is to clear debris from the space you always occupy – your mind.  So give anyone who doesn’t deserve thinking space in your mind the boot or ease them gently away.

Loads of love

Michele x

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