Are you bogged in grief, sadness and loss over a relationship that didn’t work out the day you hoped? Or are you in the position where you’ve come to believe there is no-one out there for you? Or perhaps you’ve come out of a long-term relationship and dread being thrown back into the dating game? If so, read on as this article is written for anyone who wants to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself when it comes to relationships!
Creating a new love karma is easier than you may think and can be broken down into three key steps.
First: Allow yourself to fully experience the complete range of emotions you are feeling. Whether these are anger, sadness, rejection, loss, grief, betrayal, loneliness, fear, frustration or an entire gamut of others – give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling. If you try to suppress your emotions, this won’t lead to true healing. No matter how long the process takes – and remember there is no statute of limitations on this as it will be different for everyone, allow these emotions to run their course. When you have worked through this stage you will discover you have arrived at a stage of acceptance and once here, the feelings will dissipate.
Second: What have you learned from this? This is the key stage to creating that new love karma and a new relationship future for yourself. Many people would also say that you first have to forgive the other party and yourself for what went wrong. However, realistically, while you may be able to forgive yourself, you may have been through an abusive relationship where forgiveness at this time is not possible for you. If this is the case, forgive yourself for not being able to forgive and concentrate instead on what you have learned.
We all need to understand that every relationship we enter in to represents an opportunity to learn more about what we need in a relationship for it to work. When we see love as a learning experience, no matter what transpired, we are able to emerge from it with a fresh perspective. It is only when we don’t learn that we are destined to repeat the cycle until we do. So, look closely for patterns that have repeated themselves in your relationships, whether you fall for a similar ‘type’ each time (whether they look alike or not), and the qualities you now know you need for love to last. When you are ready, and only when, you may like to get rid of any old love letters, photos, gifts etc or anything that reminds you of your ex. As you begin to heal you will find yourself thinking about them less and less and this is a key stage in attracting new love as you can’t move forward if you’re continually looking back!
Third: Beware demonising. When we fall in love we can idolise our lover or project our desires onto them. When things go wrong it is easy for lovers to ‘demonise’ each other and loose the love that was there or take responsibility for our part in it going wrong. Take an honest inventory of your part or patterns within your past relationship and commit to making changes. Be honest in the way you communicate about the past rather than exaggerate the negative. Remember the positive connection in balance without writing a story that is all about a bad guy/girl/trans. When we look back at love with honesty, our own responsibility and an awareness of the mutual chemistry and soul lessons we can break long held love karma and heal. Otherwise we may begin dancing around that wheel again.
Fourth: When you have taken all the time you need and not hurried the first three steps, you are now empowered and ready to begin the process of attracting in someone new. Above all, don’t focus on the qualities your previous partners didn’t have – as all you will do is attract more of the same. Instead, focus on those your ‘love karma audit’ as I like to call it, has identified you do need in a lover such as honesty, kindness, generosity, faithfulness. Then ensure that you nurture all the qualities you are seeking in a lover, in yourself. Like attracts like after all.
We all have the ability to create a new love karma at any point so don’t think you’re doomed to repeat the past – or to remain alone. Karma is all about our ability to learn from our past, and our presence of mind in the present!
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