Having people who love and support you when times are tough is incredibly important for all of us. When times are tough it’s good to know you have people ready to offer you what you need – whether it’s a hug, emotional support or just the ability to listen. However, what we tend to forget is that knowing someone is there for us is just as important in good times as well as a new study shows us. Our partners and loved ones reactions when we have something good to report is crucial to our wellbeing and also our relationship with them.
Sharing good news with someone is called capitalisation. It allows you to relive the feelings of happiness and achievement. Researchers have discovered that the way someone close to us reacts when we have good news is however, an indicator of the quality of your relationship with them. If you’ve just landed a promotion or the job of your dreams is your partner or the person you’re telling happy for you or are they saying things like ‘That sounds like an awful lot of hard wor. Are you sure you’ll be able to cope?’ Perhaps you’re excited about your engagement. Are you friends and family pleased or have you not got the kind of reaction you were hoping for?
Two teams of researchers tracked a group of students over a period of a month. One third were asked to write about what they were grateful for each day and were asked to share their experiences with someone close to them. Another group were asked to write about them but not share them. Finally, another third were asked to keep track of what they were learning every day and share this with a partner or someone close to them. The study which is about to be published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships showed not only the effect the recipient’s reaction to the ‘good news’ had on the person delivering it but that participants who shared grateful experiences with someone close reported more life satisfaction and happiness than those in the other groups. So, we receive an additional boost from telling someone about positive life events above and beyond the feeling we get from the event itself. The study also showed that if the person you told responded positively, you would feel even better – unless they responded negatively or changed the subject. So, the reaction of the people closest to us is crucial when it comes to us enjoying our moments of victory.
On a soul level being able to respond positively to someone’s good news not only emphasises our closeness with them but shows how open we are to allowing good news and abundance to flow in our own lives. If you feel a pang of jealousy because your best friend just got engaged or landed that dream job when you’re still single and unhappy with your career; instead of responding in a negative fashion be joyful. If your friends can achieve happiness the fact that you are part of the same soul group shows that you can too! When we feel good for the people closest to us we just create more joy. Being there for each other in good times is one of the best moments we can have in our relationships.
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