Unless we are one of the very fortunate souls who fall in love and stay in love with their childhood sweetheart or the first person we date, chances are most of us at one time or another in our lives will be left with a broken heart. The feelings of rejection, of grief and of regret can make us feel like our world has ended and on top of this, there is the loss of the love we felt for and from the other person. Heartbreak can be both numbing and shattering both at the same time. We can be locked in a cycle of mourning just as if we had experienced the death of someone close to us and feel we will be trapped in this stage forever.
If you are presently experiencing the anguish of a broken heart, then one technique that can help you begin to heal is to begin to understand that the love you felt and received from your former partner hasn’t ‘gone’ just because you are no longer in a relationship with them. The love you experienced from them is just a reflection of the love you always have inside of you – it hasn’t gone anywhere, it is just that no-one is now there to bring it out and reflect it back at you!
When you are able to, take a few moments to connect back to this love and do this simple meditation which will aid you in your healing process. It’s not about getting mawkish or wallowing in ‘the way we were’ – it’s about understanding you ARE love! You can sit or lie down for this – whichever is most comfortable for you. Switch off or unplug your phone and ensure you won’t be disturbed. If you like you can light a scented candle or even play some ambient music.
Close your eyes and start to pay attention to your breathing. If you begin to feel sad or teary, don’t fight those feelings. Acknowledge them as part of the healing process, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel and breathe on through them. As you breathe, draw your breath deeper and deeper into your body. With each exhalation imagine yourself releasing some of the feelings of sadness, loss and heartache. As you breathe deeper into your body imagine your breath reaching the area where all these feelings are emanating from – your heart chakra. Again, as you breathe into this area you may feel intense emotions arise – that’s normal and just breathe into them if they do. Now, allow yourself to experience how you felt when you first fell in love. Let those feelings surface.
You are allowed at this point to picture your former lover in front of you. Imagine you are back in those heady first days of romance – the feeling of bring in love and being loved in return and also the feeling we so often experience when we fall in love – that anything is possible. Hold on to those feelings now as you imagine your former lover either fading out of the picture or walking away from you. Breathe in deeply, drawing those feelings deep into your heart.
Although you can no longer see your lover in your mind’s eye you’ll immediately notice the feelings are still there – because that’s where they always were – inside of you. They are still there and this healing meditation is designed to remind you of this truth – the love is always within us.
When you are ready open your eyes. Hopefully you can stay connected to the love within but when you feel this start to fade, repeat the exercise as often as you need to.
As you move through the grieving process you will notice you are staying connected to the love within for longer and longer periods until you no longer need to – you will be connected to it all the time. The great thing about this exercise is that it not only helps move us faster through the
stages of healing from heartbreak but puts is in stronger and healthier position for our next relationship. When we understand that the love we feel for another person is the love we always carry inside, then we know that the loss of a relationship cannot take that love from us. Healing a broken heart takes time – but it begins within.
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