Despite the fact that our lives are now filled with so many ways we can connect with people, loneliness appears to be on the increase especially amongst city dwellers to the point of becoming the 21st century’s silent epidemic. Most people don’t want to admit they are lonely due to the fact they feel people will think there is something wrong with them. Yet the majority of people – even the most successful and popular ones and those in happy relationships, will have experienced periods of loneliness at certain points in their lives. Our readers often get asked by clients about when extended periods of isolation are coming to an end so if you’re feeling lonely know you’re not alone!
Often we can end up feeling lonely through no fault of our own. When we leave school or university the social connections we have relied on for years are often broken and scattered as everyone goes their separate ways to pursue careers and new life paths. If we’ve been in a long term relationship, while we may have been able to work out who has the children, house, CD collection and the goldfish, there are no laws to determine who gets the friends you have both made as a couple. You may have relocated to a new area leaving family and close friends behind, illness may have meant you being unable to keep up your social connections or you may be in a position where you no longer feel the resonance you once had with certain friends but have yet to find new ones with whom you do. The list is endless. But if you are experiencing loneliness, here are some spiritual and practical tips to open up the way to attract new connections into your life.
1. Let go of any stigma attached to the word ‘lonely’. As we’ve already said – most people go through a bout of two of loneliness in their lives – even famous ones! Know there is nothing wrong with you. Replace any negative thoughts such as ‘I’m boring’, ‘I’m shy’ or ‘Who would want to get to know me?’ with ‘I am a warm, open person who effortlessly attracts like minded souls’.
2. Be honest about how you’ve come to be in this position. Chances are when you look at it objectively you’ll see none of this was your fault. On a spiritual level ask yourself if there is a deeper meaning behind this period than you first thought. Perhaps you’ve come out of a long term relationship and there is a soul-growth reason for you being alone right now – the universe may want you to take some time to put your past experiences into perspective in order to ensure you don’t make a similar mistake again. If the universe has called a ‘time out’ of relationships then accept that and know when it’s time to re-enter the mainstream of life again, you will.
3. Don’t go looking for love and friendship in all the wrong places. It takes time to get to know someone and for them to get to know you. Even if you are alone you need to understand that you don’t need anyone to ‘complete’ you. You are already complete! So, take your time when it comes to making new connections be they prospective friends or lovers. Just as dating was invented so a couple could get to know one another, it’s a good idea to have the same attitude with prospective friends as it is lovers. Get to know someone slowly to ensure they are the right kind of ‘friendship’ material rather than just rushing out and socialising with someone just because you are lonely.
4. Explore new ways to connect. Social media has made it easy to connect to people. Look for groups on facebook made up of people who share your interests. If you are interested in soul matters then you’ll meet plenty of like-minded ones on Psychic Knight. If you’re a bit shy, social networking sites allow you to practice connecting on-line which can help with the face-to-face stuff. If you’re looking for real as opposed to virtual friendships then turn first to your passions. What is it you like doing? Check on-line, your local paper, your library and even your local coffee shop for details of groups meeting in your area. Your local independent bookshop may have a book club. If you’re in a new city and also a bit shy then why not try Toastmasters? You can find the address of your local one from their website. You’ll meet people of all ages and from all walks of life. Volunteering for a charity is another good way to meet new people. Can’t find what you want? Then start your own group by putting an ad on Gumtree. If you’ve let some past contacts lapse which you’d like to revive again take a deep breath and get in touch. Chances are the person will be delighted to hear from you.
5. Finally – be yourself and smile. Know that loneliness is just a phase you’re passing through. Think back to when your life was filled with people. When you step out the door next smile at everyone you meet. Who knows, they could be even more lonely than you are!
Sometimes we reach a key point in our soul growth where our paths and the people that were once close to us, diverge. When this happens know that we have parted ways in order to meet new people to empower our next stage of soul evolution but that as creators of our lives we have the power to attract those people to us.
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