How to end a relationship

Someone asked how to go about ending a relationship.  It’s a good question, because although every relationship is unique and everyone has their own moral compass that determines what they feel is right or wrong, there are a few spiritual principles that we can bring into practice at such times.

It doesn’t really matter what kind of relationship we are talking about.  Many people naturally come and go through our lives as we grow, change and move on metaphorically and literally. We might also evaluate certain relationships and decide that we need to draw a line.

One of the i Ching hexagrams suggests that we should think of our relationships as being like ponds.  It counsels that we should enter and leave them smoothly, without a ripple.  But that’s not always easy.

From an energetic point of view, when we spend time and especially become intimate with people, our energies mingle.  That means that when we leave, there is always a period in which the energy systems of all those involved need to sort and settle themselves back down.  When others leave us, we can sometimes feel that energetic pull, but surprisingly we can also feel it even when we are the ones who have left.

Spiritually, it’s always worth remembering that we are all unique souls who chose to come here and take the journey through earth school.  Staying with someone when you don’t want to be there dishonours their power and might actually prevent them from finding the love and friends they deserve.

Remember to honour yourself and the other person through the process of leaving.

Maybe it’s easier to look at ways that we sometimes create exit routes by slightly more dubious means.  We can have affairs.  That way we have actually left, but we look like we’re still there.  We can behave badly and hope the other person ends the relationship as a result.  We can creep out bit by bit, building an entirely new, parallel life and hop between the two until something happens that forces a choice point.

What you do and how you do it is up to you.  Perhaps the only piece of advice I could give is, whatever you do, allow yourself to be guided by your soul, by love itself and trust in the journey of the other person.   There is always a way to bring compassion and kindness to whatever we do.

No matter what has gone on between you, do whatever you can to forgive the other person as this releases you both.  Visualise the other person surrounded by a cocoon of unconditional love.  See them as whole and happy, loved by the universe and protected.  Even if there is a difficult period leading up to and after the end, keep doing this. It will help you stay centred and strong too.

They may be hurt, devastated or angry.  Trust that they will work through it.  You may want to try and help them with their feelings, but you may not be the best person to do that.

It takes a lot of courage to end a relationship.  No matter how certain you are that you have done something that is right for both of you, you are also going through a loss, so be extra kind and nurturing to yourself and accept that you too may go through a grieving process.

Overall, understand that even though you are bringing about a change to how something appears on the surface, on a spiritual level we are all always connected.  Nothing ever ends, and everything is always going through a process of transformation.

Stay positive and open minded about what the future may bring.  It can deliver miracles beyond our imagination.

Loads of love,

Michele x

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