Soul SOS: I’m in a Love Sahara – How Do I Find My Way Out?
Sometimes no matter how much we would like to meet someone or what we do to try to connect with them, nothing seems to work for us. We can join as many internet dating sites as we want. We can get out-and-about. Join new groups and tell our friends and colleagues we are looking for someone if they have any suitable friends. While we may enjoy some dates – or even a fling or two, nothing seems to ‘gel’ permanently. Or more depressingly, we don’t even get that far! It’s as if we’re suddenly rendered invisible. Or we can’t seem to meet just one person that fits the bill for us no matter what we do or how hard we look.
If you are stuck in the love equivalent of the Gobi or the Sahara, then the first thing you need to understand is you’re not alone! Many, many people who have gone on to have real and lasting love connections have been exactly where you are right now before they met their partner. You need to understand that this is a cycle. Like all cycles, once you have understood what the soul lesson is you will free yourself from it.
First, ask yourself a few questions:
Am I looking for someone because I am afraid of being alone? Am I ‘less’ of a person if I am not partnered up? If you have answered ‘yes’ to either or both of these then you need to understand the universe is giving you a ‘time out’ from love relationships because you need to work on the most important relationship you will ever have in this lifetime – the one you have with yourself.
Am I being pressured to go out and find someone by well-meaning friends and relatives when really I don’t feel like it? If you’d rather stay home with a good book or movie – then do. Attracting the love we want starts with honouring our own needs. Plus, if you can’t stand being in your own company how do you expect someone else to? Be your own best friend and partner and you will pave the way for the person who reflects that.
Am I getting the results I want? If you’re trying internet dating or any other ways of meeting prospective mates, and you’re not meeting anyone you are interested in or you keep ending up in the same situation time after time, then you need to stop what you are doing. This is another sign the universe is saying you need a ‘time out’ to look at trying a new approach or else perhaps to re-evaluate what you need in a partner. Try not to think of yourself a being stuck in a love desert, however. Think of yourself as having reached an oasis of insight where you can stop, rest, recuperate and gain new insights into your love goals and how to achieve them. Above all, don’t be in a hurry to leave.
The biggie: What am I passionate about right now in my life? Passion is the path that leads us out of the Love Desert. And by that I’m actually not talking about the romantic kind. Being supposedly ‘stuck’ in the Love Sahara is actually an opportunity to re-connect to passion we might have lost. The thing is – you are not ‘stuck’ – you are moving forward.
By getting back in touch with passion in your life you will move forward faster. So, what makes your heart beat faster? What would make you want to leap out of bed in the morning? Is it that dream career goal you’ve allowed to lapse? That hobby or activity you set aside because you thought it was ‘childish’ or you just got too busy? You have to make time for passion and taking the time to do whatever it is you are passionate about says you are willing to have more of it in your life! Join that class, find out what it takes to start that business or get that job and move towards it. Take up that activity, start writing, painting, dancing, taking those photos, baking those cupcakes – it doesn’t matter what it is, so long as you love it.
Passionate people who are excited about what they do make people automatically gravitate to them. You’ll also see that passion and love were inside of you all the time – and all around you. You then won’t have to do anything more to get yourself out of the Love Sahara – you were never lost in the first place. When we are ready – love always finds us.
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