Life doesn’t stay the same and it’s rare that we spend our entire lives in the same place. When we move, change jobs or even leave home for the first time for work or study, this is not just a major life milestone but it often means severing long-term connections too. It’s not that we don’t remain friends with the people we’ve been close to – and the internet and Skype certainly make that easier than ever before, but obviously they are no longer part of our everyday lives. Moving to a new area for whatever reason or changing jobs can mean we are faced with a big gap in our lives and sometimes a period of loneliness. So, if you find yourself in this situation, what’s the best way to attract new friends? The obvious answers such as joining a gym, signing up for a class sometimes don’t give us the results we want and if we’re feeling unsure of ourselves, this can compound any feelings of isolation and loneliness we may be having. Obviously these solutions can and do produce results for many but you should only join a gym or a particular activity if you love doing it – otherwise who are you hoping to connect with? The only other person there who hates the gym?
It’s a well-known spiritual law that we attract what we give out. So, whether you’re at work, buying your coffee, studying or even walking down the street, have a smile on your face. When we are happy we are sending out a positive vibe that attracts others. Don’t be afraid to say ‘Hello’ to someone who smiles back. Instead of thinking about the fact you’ve left your old friends behind, replace this with the thought that there are all the wonderful people you’ve yet to meet who are going to be your new friends.
Be generous with your smiles and if a conversation starts, don’t be shy, be chatty. Ask questions. It shows you’re interested in the other person and also don’t forget you need to get to know them! It’s no good forging a connection just because you are lonely. You do need to make sure you have certain things in common otherwise you will end up investing your time in friendships that go nowhere.
Always come from a position of what you have to give to the connection, rather than what the person may have to give you – i.e. alleviate your loneliness. This can be difficult if you are shy but why not approach people from the position that they may be shy and possibly lonely and how can you put them at their ease? When you are thinking of the other person rather than yourself you open up the potential for a true soul friendship to begin.
If you have a dog or small children then walking your dog or joining a playgroup is obviously a great way to connect to people as you have a great conversation starter! It’s the same for activities you really enjoy. Maybe a co-worker has a screensaver of their favourite TV show which also happens to be yours. There’s your opener. If you’re not working or studying, then a move away from your soul group can be extremely difficult but consider volunteering as a way to meet new friends.
Above all, don’t be afraid to try something new. When we move our new environment has a totally different energy to our previous one. It’s a mistake to try to bolt our old lives onto it or expect things to be the same. The new energy wants to bring us new people and opportunities but we have to be flexible and open to how they come through if we want them to manifest. So, while you may have rejected or not needed one method of making connections before, you may want to reconsider it after you’ve moved as it may be just the way to bring you the people you’re looking for.
So, don’t be afraid to try something new and remember – every connection always begins with a smile!
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