Hug Me – I’m Happy!
Why Someone Being There For You, In Good Times, Is Important
Having people who love and support you when times are tough is incredibly important for all of us. When times are tough it’s good to know you have people ready to offer you what you need. Whether it’s a hug, emotional support or just the ability to listen. However, we can tend to forget; knowing someone is there for us is just as important in good times as well. A new study shows us. When we have something good to report, our loved-ones reaction is crucial to our well-being. And also our relationship with them.
Sharing good news with someone is called capitalisation. It allows you to relive the feelings of happiness and achievement. According to researchers, how a loved one reacts can be an indicator of the quality of your relationship with them. For example. You’ve just landed a promotion or the job of your dreams. Is your partner or the person you’re telling happy for you? Or are they saying things like ‘That sounds like an awful lot of hard work’. Are you sure you’ll be able to cope?’ Perhaps you’re excited about your engagement. Are you friends and family pleased or have you not got the kind of reaction you were hoping for?
Two teams of researchers tracked a group of students over a period of a month. One third were asked to write about what they were grateful for each day and were asked to share their experiences with someone close to them. Another group were asked to write about them but not share them. Finally, another third were asked to keep track of what they were learning every day and share this with a partner or someone close to them.
The study which is about to be published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships showed not only the effect the recipient’s reaction to the ‘good news’ had on the person delivering it but that participants who shared grateful experiences with someone close reported more life satisfaction and happiness than those in the other groups. So, we receive an additional boost from telling someone about positive life events above and beyond the feeling we get from the event itself. The study also showed that if the person you told responded positively, you would feel even better – unless they responded negatively or changed the subject. So, the reaction of the people closest to us is crucial when it comes to us enjoying our moments of victory.
On a soul level being able to respond positively to someone’s good news not only emphasises our closeness with them but shows how open we are to allowing good news and abundance to flow in our own lives. If you feel a pang of jealousy because your best friend just got engaged or landed that dream job when you’re still single and unhappy with your career; instead of responding in a negative fashion be joyful. If your friends can achieve happiness the fact that you are part of the same soul group shows that you can too! When we feel good for the people closest to us we just create more joy. Being there for each other in good times is one of the best moments we can have in our relationships.
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