When Love Means Letting Go. Soul Restoring Steps After a Break Up
Following my recent Healing a Broken Heart post, I thought I’d share some more tips with you on how to survive a break up. My readers receive many calls from clients wanting to know if their former partners will return – sometimes this happens and both parties have another chance. Often however, your soul path and theirs has diverged.
Along with the grief that comes with an ending there is the fear of not being loved again which I discussed in the previous post. Added to this can be advice from family and friends who are urging you to ‘get over it’. So, aside from treating yourself gently, reclaiming your power and making a commitment to healing your broken heart, what else should you be doing?
1. Take Your Time
First, understand that there is no statute of limitations on how long it will take you to move through the process. Some people just seem to bounce back and be on the dating scene again before you know it. Others can spend months moving through the stages of letting go. If you don’t yet feel you have got to the stage where you want to start looking for someone new, don’t be pressured by family and friends, no matter how well-meaning.
2. Realise Love is Everywhere
Romantic love we share with a partner is only one expression of love. If you are worried you won’t find love again remind yourself of how much love you already have in your life. Family, children, friends and even your pets. To get something you already have to have it. If you are feeling you are unloved or unlovable just because you don’t have a significant other, chances are you are creating that as a reality for yourself. Shift your perception and start to appreciate the love that is always there for you whether you are romantically involved or not. When you see yourself as loveable and loved you will attract more love, it’s that simple.
3. Own Your Own Role in Love Relationships
If I were to ask you what the common denominator in your relationships was, how would you answer? Would you say it was a track record of falling for unsuitable and/or unavailable men? The answer is the common denominator in all your relationships is YOU. All our relationships serve a purpose in our soul growth. We attract specific partners to us in order to learn important lessons – about what it is we really need in a relationships and most importantly, to learn about ourselves. Do you attract a different kind of man every time but the relationship always ends up the same? If so, this is the universe’s way of flagging up a soul lesson. Look objectively at your own role in your relationships in order to achieve a better outcome in the future.
4. Forgive and Let Go
Or if you can’t forgive – at least let go. Forgiveness can sometimes be the most difficult thing of all especially if your relationship ended because of abuse or betrayal. Often our anger against a partner is equalled with anger towards ourselves for either staying in the relationship as long as we did or for not making difficult choices sooner. If this is the case acknowledge you were doing the best you could at the time and then let go. If you find it impossible to forgive a partner, that’s fine. You’re only human. However, make a commitment to yourself to now put the past behind you and above all, don’t measure someone new by the actions of your previous partner.
Continue with any rituals, meditation, crystal healing or just good old fashioned pampering as you move through the stages of letting go. We are all hard-wired to give and receive love. Know you are a unique soul with an unlimited capacity for love. Remember, the word ‘evolve’ also contains the word ‘love’. As you love, evolution is the only possible outcome and the one you always get to take with you.
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