If you are deliberately creating your future using Quantum Creating, the most powerful intentions that you can set are those where you leave the details to the universe. So, if you’re setting out to attract love, you wouldn’t name a specific person and would only put absolute deal-breakers on your list – things that you don’t want to or couldn’t get beyond.
Everyone is different and what is a deal breaker for one person is absolutely fine by someone else, but it’s something that’s well worth mulling over. Monogamy might be a deal breaker for you, but you might not want to exclude someone fabulous because they had blue eyes if you wrote down that they had to have green eyes, for example!
Having said all of that, there are a few fundamentals that you might want to think about. When we first learn about writing out our lists for love, we can get really excited as it takes us on a fun and revealing process of getting clear in ourselves about the kind of relationship we want to have. We can get really into putting down that they should be kind to animals and love travelling and always fold their towel up after they’ve used it instead of dropping it on the bathroom floor, or anything else that ticks our boxes. And then someone who has all that and more comes on the horizon and we can think, ‘This is it! This is the one!’ We might even go on a couple of dates with them and have an amazing time and that makes us think, ‘This really IS the one!’, and so we fall head over heels in love and start fantasising about introducing them to our friends and family and planning the wedding. And then they don’t call us again, or don’t take our calls, or become elusive.
If that happens, we can get hurt or even heartbroken. We can carry on emotionally investing in them being the one in a way that closes us down to anyone else who might be already around us or just about to come along. What happens at such times is that we have fallen under our own spell and allowed it to take us out of now and what is into a realm where most of what is happening is only actually taking place in our imagination. And that’s because we left out something fundamental – that the one for us is someone who actually wants to be with us.
That’s such a simple thing but it’s so profound. If someone doesn’t actually want to be in a loving, committed relationship with you, they aren’t the one. It doesn’t matter if they can make you laugh or are the only other person you have ever met who loves hedgehogs as much as you or anything else. If they don’t want to be with you, they can never make you happy as long as what you really want is a loving, committed relationship.
If that is what you want, then that should be high up on your list. Your list actually focuses your attention and intention. If that isn’t on your list, then you are actually telling the universe that this is not something that is important to you and you can actually contribute to your own confusion. Your list helps you sift and sort between all of the amazing souls that you meet along your journey to help you decide who is going to be what to you. Keeping that one seemingly simple quality foremost on your list and in your mind grounds you, so that when you do meet someone you can stay in your power and in your present and say to yourself, ‘Ah! This person has loads of amazing qualities but they aren’t looking for a committed relationship, or if they are, it isn’t with me.’
That automatically means that you hold your power and can make a conscious choice about enjoying an incredible friendship or feeling gratitude that you got to spend some time with a like minded person, but you avoid tying yourself to the idea that you have just lost your one and only soul mate if they disappear into the middle distance.
Because we are here to learn and evolve through experience, it’s up to you what you put on your list. Everyone is different and all sorts of relationships work in this world. But getting clear in yourself about what is a fundamental actually acts as a kind of compass for you and can pull you back on track before you wander off your own path. It will also help you avoid the trap of trying to squeeze someone else into being something that they are not.
So get clear on what is a fundamental for you, and make sure you put it high up on your list!
Loads of love,
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