Suzy Greaves’ Column: How to be Fabulous

There is an inspiring quote by author Marianne Williamson that I love: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

What would you do if you believed you were brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Imagine if you truly believed that? The world would be your oyster. You could be anything and do anything.

You could stop hiding and have ‘why not me?’ as your new mantra.
So what stops us? What stops us from believing in ourselves or becoming our ‘best selves’? What stops us from jumping into the fray and giving it our best shot?
Fear, mostly. Fear of being attacked, judged, criticised, mocked by an anonymous ‘them’ who are waiting to pounce, sneer and pour scorn on your delusions of ‘fabulousness’. And often just the simple fear that we’re not fabulous at all.

In some shape or another, we all have that fear. But I have seen so many of my clients find a way through that fear to claim their place on the stage of life. How do they do it? I call it courage.  There is another quote I love by Eleanor Roosevelt: “Courage is not the absence of fear but taking action despite it.” So are you willing to take some action? Come on, let’s do it now.

The first step is getting excited at the new vision of the brilliant, gorgeous, talented, you. Imagine who that person is – write down a character description – what does she wear, do differently on a day to day basis, how does she speak, how does she laugh? Find a picture that represents this version of yourself and stick it where you can see it. This is visual representation of your fabulousness.

Now identify your fear. What stops you from becoming this person? What are you afraid will happen if you did? Martin Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness (Nicholas Brealey, £15) and leader of the positive psychology movement gives a lovely 5 step fear busting model which is fantastic at dismantling fears.

Firstly identify your fear. Let’s say that’s along the lines of, I’m scared of becoming fabulous because others will mock me. Next identify the story attached to this. That might look like, ‘No one likes the fabulous person.’ Then ask – What are the consequences of believing this story? That could be, I will always be scared of being fabulous because I fear I will be attacked. Now challenge the story; ‘Hang on that’s not exactly true. I love my friend Jane and she is fabulous. In fact she’s incredibly inspiring.’ Finally replace the old story with a new one.  For this, you might say, When people dare to be fabulous they are inspiring.

So once we’ve challenged and replaced the fear, we can start to do things differently. I’m a great believer in baby steps. If you still feel a little bit scared, start small. Wear a different lipstick or volunteer for a small project first before you decide to hire the stylist/take on the major headlining project. Build you confidence and evidence to support the new story. And be fabulous in small ways every day – one baby step at a time. Go on, I dare you, be fabulous!

“I want to be fabulous” reading list
Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. (Thorsons, £12.99) Read the book written by the author who challenges us to be fabulous.
Log on to: inspiration from fabulous women.
Be Inspired: by Top to Toe: The Ultimate Guide to becoming who you want to be. (Hodder and Stoughton, £16.99) by Nicky Hambleton Jones.

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